Day 82

So of course it's cold out there. My glasses iced over and froze on the walk to the bus, my nose was a snotsicle. But I survived, as most of us will, and spent the rest of the day near-overheating in my office due to a very powerful space heater, a closed door, and frustrating work garbage that went on and on and on. Once I finished the morning part of my day when I visited with patients who were in to see our surgeons (which I enjoy), the day tanked. All afternoon I had to deal with JUNK created and perpetuated by bad systems and dumb people. I felt powerless all day to change anything, frustrated with how things work, irritated that I can't just do a job I like and be good at it and get paid. At what point do you decide that not liking where you are is reason enough to look elsewhere? Or to go elsewhere? Or to leave and go with no other place to be?  Something I've been chewing on this week...and for the past few months, and even years if I'm honest.

This weekend I had a great skype-meeting with a group of friends from grad school. We live all over now, so once in a while we get some face time to see each other and catch up. We all shared our news and then I asked how M has been, since she was uncharacteristically quiet. She instantly burst into tears, and slowly shared how hard things have been for her at work, coupled with coming off her antidepressant/anxiety meds for the first time in 10 years as she tries to get pregnant. Things are so bad that she hopes for some rare pregnancy complication that keeps her out of work or forces her to quite. So bad that when she looked back on the past year she classified it as the worst in her life ever, forgetting that she got engaged and married and went to Norway. That bad! It was so easy for all of us to support her, coach her, let her know that she's worth having better than 80 hour, unappreciated, overworked, underpaid weeks that suck the life out of her life. It was easy to tell her to risk walking away and have faith that good will follow.

At what point do I give myself similar advice, and follow it? Where is the limit?