Day 18

I need a hobby. I think a hobby is some type of productive and enjoyable pastime, right? Like paint by numbers, building ships in bottles, model airplane kits, ham radio. I suppose watching TV and reading things on the internet could be hobbies in that they pass the time, but I often feel like such a slug even when I enjoy it. I keep getting ideas about hobbies I might like, which more often than not start with me feeling ambitious and buying things, doing it for a bit, and then settling back to the couch and the tv and the internet. I was super hooked on yoga a few years ago for a while, and that stuck but mostly because I didn't have cable and internet in my apartment (I'm old, it used to happen like that, I swear). Since then I've tried knitting (can't learn from a book or the internet, cat messed up the yarn, sucked at it and gave up), sewing (took a class, liked it, bought stuff, tried it for a weekend, gave up), video projects (get addicted for 47 straight hours, make a mediocre clip of a recent vacation, share it and get sad that people don't want to show it at Sundance, give up), joined a gym (still pay my $45 monthly fat/lazy tax, haven't been since the spring). I've bought craft supplies by the cart full, dug small gardens where I can fit some dirt only to watch things wither, pieced together puzzles and imagined that one day I'd teach myself to play guitar. Over and over again, I give up - often before I even get started.

As I get older, and my life becomes more compartmentalized (work/relationship/friends/self) I realize that my time alone is so passive and sedentary. I want to be able to create something, to cultivate a skill or a passion or something. So what is it? How do I find my thing? (Remember, I am incredibly lazy so low effort and/or extreme coercion is often key)