The past few weeks have exhausted me. Mostly because of work - not because it's tiring and busy or strenuous or anything like that, but because I have been continually faced with questions about my the value I place on my work and the value that is given to me by others. It's all been very preoccupying. I love the patients and families I work with. I like a lot of the people I work with, and when it comes down to it the job I do isn't that bad either. But I can't help but feeling unfulfilled by it all, like I don't have a real say in my future. It's got me thinking a lot again about what I would do if I could. I really can't come up with much. How do you know when a job is the right one for you, and when it's not? Is it enough to stably pay the bills, or if not where do you draw the line and say that a job isn't worth it? Can I create a sense of passion for the work I do, if the factors outside my control remain the same?
Lotsa junk in my work brain right now. Unfortunately I have to get to sleep now so I can do it all again tomorrow. I get to cap off a long week of long days and long weekend of misogynistic workshops with an evening faculty meeting tomorrow.
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